Death may end a life, but not necessarily a relationship.  Drawing on attachment-informed and Two-Track models of bereavement, we will begin by considering grieving as a process of reconstructing rather than relinquishing our continuing bonds with those who have died.  But at times both the circumstances of the death and the nature of the relationship in their shared lives can pose profound challenges for survivors in establishing a sustainable bond to the deceased, creating impasses in doing so that can become the focus of grief therapy.  Thus, we will discuss research on both circumstantial factors (e.g., sudden or violent death, inability to tend to the loved one at the end of life) and relational complications (unresolved issues between the living and dead) that characteristically leave many questions unanswered, much that is unsaid, and multiple longstanding concerns unaddressed.  To redress these relational complications, we will introduce a scale for identifying complex relational histories that need to be processed, as well as several creative, art-assisted techniques to review and revise the character of the bond with the deceased.  In addition, through actual therapy recordings, we will demonstrate how symbolic conversations in both correspondence and chair work formats can help clients repair the relationship with someone who they typically have loved, even if ambivalently, and lost before setting things right. 

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LEARNING OBJECTIVES

• Describe the concept of continuing bonds and its role in adaptation to bereavement;

• Summarize research on sudden and traumatic bereavement and its relation to both unfinished business with the deceased and intense or prolonged grief symptomatology; and

• Practice various meaning-focused techniques to renegotiate the terms of attachment with the deceased and bridge to relational reconstruction.

 

GRIEF COUNSELLING TOPICS COVERED

• Understanding grief and loss through an attachment lens

• Differentiation between continuing bond and maladaptive bondage

• Examining who the deceased was through Acrostic Eulogy

• Crafting of Our Relationship Tree to review the relationship history

• Use of Rückenfigur to facilitate access to the Back Story of a difficult relationship

• Implementation of the Unfinished Business in Bereavement Scale (UBBS) for assessing residual conflicts and disappointments in the relationship

• Practice of correspondence with the deceased and possible extensions

• Architecture and choreography of chair work to process the unfinished business